The End of the Beginning and the Start of a New Era

Whatever it is that the man wants Christian to do, Christian would do it. He would do it right gladly, if it would only cure this ache in his heart. The ache that had been there since he was a boy, yea, perhaps since he had been born. The man had filled that void in Christian's heart but then had left! Just like all the rest! And yet...and yet he hadn't. He was still there, still beckoning to Christian. He was still there, he had just moved venues. That was all. Christian took a deep breath. See, the Man still loved him, was still there for him. Christian opened the door of the Humble Theatre, and then saw the Man surrounded by children. Children in rags. And the Man was engrossed with the children, ignoring Christian. How dare he! How dare the Man do this to him, after claiming to love him devotedly. The Man looked up, as though hearing Christian's thoughts, and smiled at him. His smile was so warm that Christian instantly forgave him for ignoring him. The Man motioned to him to come closer and Christian almost ran there. But then he remembered the children-the dirty children. He was a dignified man and wouldn't show them any emotion. He proudly stalked in front of the Man, who sadly shook his head. "Look at me, Christian." Christian looked. And forgot about his pride, his dignity, and how dirty the children were. He joined the children in surrounding the Man and though they pressed onto him as well, he didn't mind. Because he was with the one Person that cared about him. After what felt like hours just standing there basking in the warmth of the man, he saw what the man was doing. He was warming the children, healing the children, and making them laugh. They went to him looking hungry, tired, depressed, and lonely but came out looking full, energized, happy, and full of love. Christian stood there wondering what he was doing when he realized that this is what the man had done to him. He crept up to the man, "Can I help you?" The man smiled at him, "You have learned well." And from that day forth, Christian performed in the theatre and helped children realize their dreams, accomplish their goal in life, and change other people's lives.

Christian stood at the entrance to the door and felt excited. He did not wonder at the feeling, for this is what he had anticipated his whole life. On the other hand, if this turned out to be another deal that fell flat, he might just give up hope. He had been searching for so long. He had sought so diligently. And then, when he had declared it quits and was sitting dejectedly on the steps of a house in an alley, an older man (whose age would have been impossible to guess, for He looked both young and old, and so wise) came up to him and asked "Would you like another chance to make it?" Christian was surprised at how astute and accurate this man's guess was. If only it were real, if only it weren't a scam. But in the weeks that followed, as he asked questions and probed for information, the man never hesitated and always answered immediately, faithfully, patiently, and lovingly. The last was the most attractive aspect of the man. Christian had never felt true love. There was always a self-centeredness behind any love or kindness that had been offered to him. And either this man was the best actor Christian had ever met (which was doubtful, Christian had worked with the best in the industry) or He genuinely meant the love and friendship and kindness that extended from Him towards Christian. Christian was shocked. Didn't this man realize that love just wouldn't cut it in this world? Didn't He realize how cruel the world was-it would pretend to be your friend, take your money, and throw you to the rats, Christian bitterly thought.

"What's the point of living?" he once asked the man in a despairing moment. The man looked at him with His knowing eyes and with a compassionate gaze said "I can show You." His knowing eyes were unnerving. He knew everything about Christian, Christian just knew. He could feel it. The man knew that Christian struggled with addictions. He knew that he was on drugs. He knew. But still He supported him, He held him when Christian almost fell over, He comforted when Christian was at his wit's end. But then, gradually, He had begun to consume more of Christian's life; He had filled up all of the empty space in his life, in his heart, and had pushed the drugs out. As Christian's body raged, the man was the one who helped him through it. All that had been years ago. Yesterday, the man had said it was time for Christian to go to this theatre and rekindle his old flame for acting. Christian had ignored the man. The man had been hinting at it for months now, slightly becoming ever consistent. This morning Christian woke up to find the man gone-the Man who had been his constant companion for years-never once leaving Christian's side.

Christian thought to himself, "just like all the rest" as he went downstairs for breakfast. But there he found a note from the man. He eagerly snatched the note up, even as he scolded himself for caring about the man-after all, the man had left. "Christian," the note began, "I am at the Humble Theatre." The Humble Theatre. It was a small modest place. Christian and the man had often walked by it, Christian ignoring it, the man quietly drawing attention to this aspect of its architecture or that play that was currently being performed.
Christian turned the note over. It was blank. So that's all it said! The man assumed that Christian would come running to Him, dependent upon Him, huh!

"Well," Christian decided, "I'll show Him!" So Christian went through the day pretending nothing was wrong. Except something was wrong. Something was terribly lacking. he didn't have the strength or energy he had when the man was around. Even worse-he felt the way he had felt when he was addicted-he felt that there was no point in life without the man. Too late, Christian realized that he had simply switched from one addiction to another, mistakingly believing himself free from all addictions. He was now addicted to the man. That night, as Christian went to bed, he was miserable. He tossed and turned and rolled over all night. In the morning, his resolve that he had had the previous night-which was to get rid of this addiction-was gone, as it normally was. He resignedly ate, dressed, and went out the door, heading to the Humble Theatre.